She lit a flame in my heart and let me burn alone

I wrote this for a writing prompt – “A girl love a guy and made a love potion for the guy. The guy fell in love with the girl but the girl lost interest in him. The guy is still heavily under the love potion. Write from the guy’s perspective about how he moves on still being in love with her.”

It’s already done but it will never be inside my heart and mind. It is not fair because everything seemed perfect. For us and for others but sometimes things don’t work the way we want to. We were too much in to each other, that the hole we fell down together is too deep to get out from. Maybe not for her but for me, yes. I want this pain to end. It hurts too much because how can I forget that her face when she laughs and her cute way of getting annoyed. How can I forget a face that I can explain each of her emotions so descriptive in my head? You would say ask you my friends for help. I did and my friends tried to help but they are now strangers too.

Our existence was like water and I tried to catch it with my bare hands. Only to stare at the water dripping through the gaps of my own fingers. Who’s fault was it that water had drip? Maybe it is none of our faults but a fault in the matching of the universe – a fault in our stars. The problem is, the universe rarely makes mistakes. Why did this have to be one of them? I can tell you this though, every single moment I held that water, seemed infinite.

Thus, I stare at you every single day only to walk away with fear… and sadness? that I might love and that you will not. By moving on, will I be blowing off the flame of hope by my own breath? Or will I be blowing off a flame that could have destroyed what it already was? For better or worse that flame will always leave a mark on each other. Some may call it love and others may call it scars.

I doubt if I will ever be worthy enough to be chosen by someone but if you ever think I’m worthy enough to be chosen by you. You need to know that I didn’t choose this path. This path chose me. I have held more guns and swords than flowers and birds and if these scars frighten you, you might as well be better off with a soul without thorns and draws no blood.

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The beautiful flame

I love to stare at this beautiful flame.
Bright in its light and warm in its heart.
It could light a room that’s pitch dark.
I can’t take my eyes off this beautiful flame.
The flame that keeps me alive.
It makes life bright.
As the flame dances around
I smile oddly as it dances with spread out wings.

I don’t know how
I don’t know why
but I feel the brightness fading
and its beauty evaporating.

I know one day this strong wax candle
will melt down to the last drop.
It will burn my hand but yet I choose to hold it.
Because holding this beautiful flame is worth the pain.

I don’t know how
I don’t know why
but I’m trying my best keep the flame alive
by covering it with my hand.

I see the flame fight
I see it struggle.
I know it’s strong and kind.
But then again one night I know it’s going to die.
I hope that night comes late and slow.
Because today and tonight I want it to shine as brightly as it could.

http://allpoetry.com/poem/12235730-The-beautiful-flame-by-The-Empath

 

Beautiful woman of flame 2

30 Lessons life taught me!

I’ll be turning 18 this year so to celebrate growing older and also courtesy of some self-reflection. I listed out some lessons that life taught me along the way. Also I would like extend my thanks to Zaid and Muzawwir for their input as well.

1. What ever you are going or went through, you are not alone.
2. If you have a plan, you have nothing worry about.
3. If you are planning out an event. Always make notes. Even the little things.
4. Friendship always has its ups and downs. So, don’t make decisions too quickly.
5. Pain can change people. So, don’t be surprised.
6. Don’t judge people. Because there might be tears hiding behind the clown’s face.
7. The best is yet to come.
8. No one remembers the one who gave up.
9. Love your parents no matter what.
10. Whatever happens just smile and accept it. You can’t control fate but you can control how you react to it.
11. Talk to God! He always listens.
12. Time heals most things.
13. One small conversation with a friend. Can sometimes make you forget all life’s problems.
14. Never abandon friends. Your busy schedule won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
15. Believe in miracles.
16. Always remember you are always loved by somebody.
17. Make sacrifices.
18. It’s not important to win any argument. Agree to disagree.
19. Grab as many opportunities as possible. One will lead to another.
20. Give meaning to everything in life.
21. If you really want something to be done. Give a reason. The stronger the reason, the stronger you strive.
22. Learn from mistakes. Both your’s and other’s.
23. Always be prepared.
24. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good. It’s too short to grumble about it.
25. Inspire your self once in a while. The more regularly you bath, the more regularly you smell good.
26. Say NO once in a while.
27. Remember those who helped you.
28. Give without condition. God will smile on you.
29. Take a day off and treat your self. You are a human after all.
30. Last one. You can make a difference or you can just fit in but remember you just can’t do both. Your choice.

Dare to be yourself!

Did you know? If you had 300 billion brothers and sisters. You would still not be exactly the same as them. Neither, would they be exactly same as each other. Every human is born unique to this would. God is the main and only contributor to insert that individuality into that person. It’s sad to see that in today’s society respect towards individuality has ceased to exist.  Today I mainly see people who just wants to fit in to society rather than stand out. Wheres individuality gone and how were imitators born ? 

Be yourself

A quote that I came across while reading a book. “Imitating is suicide” It just doesn’t mean that you literally  kill yourself but rather you kill you own individual personality. Be a lion not a buffalo. Yes, it’s funny but it has meaning. A lion wakes up everyday knowing that he must run faster than his prey or else he will starve. He hunts alone. He has his own way of life. Buffalo! He disappears to his heard. Do I need to explain more ? 

What are you waiting for ? Bring out the great person within you! Remember this along the way, the greatest thinkers are the people who dare to be themself.  There’s no other better feeling in the world than being yourself.

You are destined for greatness!

Are you destined for something great? My view is that everyone is destined for greatness. People just don’t believe in themselves. I have seen and met people who are so awesome that one day they would become great personalities. Sometimes I even question them do you think that you will become who you want to become? Some say, Yes, I will with the brightest smile on their face full of determination that they would come through with their life dream. Some say, I don’t know but if I did it would be great but this world has its things maybe I won’t but hey I won’t give up. Some say, I’m not sure I might not make it. These answers depend on how confident they are, how determined they are and how optimistic they are.

The people I met had different goals like, to be the richest man in the world, to be a Psychologist , to be the CEO of Apple or start his own company and beat Apple , to own of group International Hotels, to be the editor of the Reader’s Digest or start his own International Magazine…. the list goes so on. Do you think these people are those who have already left school, college and universities. Well, I got news for you  they are just teenagers of ages 16 or 17. They are my friends who I school together at Zahira College, Colombo. These are not the small stupid goals that we make. These are serious life goals that would one day define the very existence of our life. You see, you really don’t need an age to start dreaming but starting early and mapping our goals early is what I believe is the key to success in life. Even the most timid mind can have widest imagination of things he wants to do and contribute to the amazing thing called life. All they need is some encouragement or even a good friend would do. I’m very glad that I joined Zahira College. I’m glad for list of people in my life who I call my friends and to be honest 90% of my friends are my school friends. We  have helped each other find our own destiny and to create a path worth living.   

I too have my own dream. I believe that I would definitely achieve my goal. I might have make sacrifices but untimely sacrifices and unwanted sacrifices is all I pray that don’t cross my way. You too, should think big. Think out of box. Be original. I wish you all the best with your goals. You and I are just ordinary people in this ordinary world striving to be someone extra ordinary.

What’s missing ?

Today I woke up in the morning and logged in to my Facebook account. I saw a group people who I knew. There were photos of them in an album. In it, they were full of  joy and happiness. Full of self belief. They were a bunch of very very close friends having fun together. Their joy unintentionally brought a smile to my face and also very different thoughts to my mind. They were like the most happiest people on earth. They love each other, respect each other, care for each other always says “I’ve got your back man!” Suddenly, I looked to my self why haven’t I felt it ? Is it because I have felt it but I have not realized it ? I don’t really know. I have friends. Very good awesome friends. But still although we are as close as the people who I knew I felt something is really missing. Something says we should hang more. We should do stupid things more. WHAT IS MISSING ????  I know we are close friends but i feel still something is missing. Why do  I feel like that? I even came to the extent of thinking are we really close friends.
I had to sit back and think a lot. Sometimes I feel no ones out going. I think my friends are really scared to have fun. Well, as the saying if you want to change for the good you must be the change. Well, lets see how it goes.

If anyone out there knows what I’m talking about. Please feel free to comment. Although probably know one will ever come by. Anyway just in case 🙂

Dreams for the future

                                 “To pursue a dream one must have a dream.”

        I was in the 9th grade when someone posed me the question “What’s your dream for the future?”  I said, “I wanted to be an engineer”, but there was really not much confidence that it was what I wanted to be. So that day, that question kept flickering in my mind. So I started scribbling my thoughts and what ended on the top of my list was “I want to be a writer and someday I’m going to be an editor of an leading International magazine.”  Few weeks passed before I mustered up the courage to tell it to anyone.  To my advantage a lecturer visited our school to address us. He asked us individually from the audience. “What do you want to be when you grow up?”  Almost everyone who was there in that hall knew me and this was the time I said to everyone “I want be a writer!” I had a huge relief in my head! The lecturer commented that it was a very interesting choice I’ve made. That encouraged me not to stop here but to pursue my dream with zest!

         Having a dream is easy but the journey is what counts the most because the harder the journey is the sweeter your dream will be. I’ve had difficult times. So tough I’ve even felt like I’m slipping from the edge, hanging by a thread!  Every time I think of many reasons for me to stop pursuing my dream I stop and think about the one reason I kept going this far. How was that possible? Well I’m surrounded by people who believe in me and encourage me in my endeavor. My family, close friends and teachers are my greatest cheerleaders. Their ongoing support is what bolsters my self confidence to give me that extra courage to achieve my dream. Today, I believe I’m on the right track. I’m still young and wild, I got plenty of time to adjust my self according to the changes happening in the world. One must adapt to what’s happening in the world. Only then and only then can one achieve success. His ultimate goal. 

Everyone have their own dream. A dream that they could make one feel that it is his purpose to live on the face of this earth. Remember when we were young ? We had all sorts of dreams. Things we would want to be when we grow up. Silly things that we would come up with. “I want an Ice Cream! I want to be Superman! I want to be like my dad! I want be a princess! I want help people!” When we were kids we were determined to reach that goal. Even if it meant crying embarrassingly in public begging your parents for ice cream. Where is that zest for achieving goals today gone…….??? As we grow up we learnt the fear of failing. The fear of what others might think about us. The  responsibility. The little kids didn’t know what responsibility means. They were just happy. I think we most of us are not happy with things going on around. Stop and think. Is loved one at home ? Is he/ she smiling ? No? Go make that person smile and let him/her know there’s someone out there who loves him. You would be even more happier that you are the reason behind that smile and happiness.

Coming back to goals. I remember my teacher once told me. A person has interests. Things he loves doing. Things he enjoys doings. Things he wants to share with his friends and family. A person has goals too. The key to enjoys perusing your goals and taking your friends and family with you on your way to your goals. Is to connect your interests in life and your goals in life.

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I’M YOUNG AND I GOT A LOT OF YEARS TO COME BUT YOU MIGHT BE SO MUCH FAR FROM ME BY AGE AND DISTANCE BUT I WISH YOU HAPPINESS AND GOOD LUCK IN ACHIEVING YOUR DREAMS. ITS UP TO YOU DECIDE, ARE YOU GOING TO CHALLENGE YOURSELF OR THE WORLD.
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When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life. – Greg Anderson
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