I wrote this poem a few years ago and months after we ended our relationship due some crazy unavoidable circumstance which I don’t even know how to explain it. I was going through my poetic profile and this poem make sense now, because now she is happily engaged and I am happy for her as well. What I have been wondering at that time. Now I am know. Right now in my head I am kinda laughing for the dumb fellow I was but…
Lately, I have been wondering.
What kind of person
will be there to take my place.
Your future a man shall embrace.
To protect you, to guide you
through all the problems you never knew.
Thinking back I see a lot of memories
but all that is history.
Those memories are haunting back
can’t run from them like shadows in pitch black.
When our song plays on the radio
it just doesn’t sound the same.
I guess that’s really how it should sound.
It never was the same
because it only created wounds.
Who i am to blame?
If things were just same as it was a year ago
happiness in life would really show
and I would dance with you whenever I had the chance.
but today I am happy that it’s another man holding your hand while you dance.
I love to stare at this beautiful flame.
Bright in its light and warm in its heart.
It could light a room that’s pitch dark.
I can’t take my eyes off this beautiful flame.
The flame that keeps me alive.
It makes life bright.
As the flame dances around
I smile oddly as it dances with spread out wings.
I don’t know how
I don’t know why
but I feel the brightness fading
and its beauty evaporating.
I know one day this strong wax candle
will melt down to the last drop.
It will burn my hand but yet I choose to hold it.
Because holding this beautiful flame is worth the pain.
I don’t know how
I don’t know why
but I’m trying my best keep the flame alive
by covering it with my hand.
I see the flame fight
I see it struggle.
I know it’s strong and kind.
But then again one night I know it’s going to die.
I hope that night comes late and slow.
Because today and tonight I want it to shine as brightly as it could.
Its been two years since I took the liberty to sit down for a couple minutes and write something in this blog. *Smirks* I guess life just got the better of me in the last two years. I will be turning 20 next month. So, you could imagine what the last two years of my life have been like. You guessed it, responsibilities, exams, career, love, opportunities, friendships, failures, heartaches and new experiences. Yeh, I guess its just the usual for this season of life. I got lost in my path in life but now as I sit and look back at all the moments that I went through I realize the more I got lost the more I found my self.
Let me tell you what happen in these 2 years. I will make it short as possible. Back then I had one circle of friends. That too a large circle and now I still have a large circle of friends maybe even a bigger circle but there is a difference of what it is now. My current circle consists of many layers. Each layer different to another. Smaller the layer, bigger the impact in my life. You can bet your life on the people who are on the smallest layer. As the layer gets bigger they just become people – people who could help. People who could help but don’t. People you think are your friends but really are just there to use you and the rest are just acquaintances.
Love. *smirks again.* I don’t want to say much of it. The world has read and seen enough. So, I will just let your imagination run wild here. Let me just put this out though, “You don’t stop loving someone. You either always will or never did in the first place.”
I expanded my skill criteria; Photography. I’m not talking of the kind of skill where I got/bought a professional camera and opened up a Facebook page and automatically become a full fledged photographer. No! Heck, I don’t even own a camera. *sigh* but you can check my Instagram account for my pictures I took on my phone! 🙂
Alright, I think that’s enough for the night. I will rant again. Soon. Maybe. Hopefully.